Dust, Starship, and Learning how to ride while cross-eyed

               If you’ve never descended a brand new trail, while completely cracked and seeing crosseyed, and with the chorus of Starship’s We Built This City going through your head on repeat… well I can’t say I’d really recommend it but it’s definitely an experience. Plus, it accurately sums up the last fifteen miles of my High Cascades 100. But on the positive side, I actually remembered my pillow for this trip. It’s the small victories.

               Quick background: the High Cascades 100 is a hundred-mile mountain bike event in Bend, Oregon. It’s part of the NUE (National Ultra-Endurance) series, which basically means it attracts a bunch of crazy masochistic people from around the country all looking to enjoy some good old-fashioned type two fun playing in the moondust of Bend. This would be my first experience with the event, and my first experience riding one hundred miles on a mountain bike. Promising to be the longest, and likely the hardest, event of my career, I was incredibly nervous leading into the weekend. Couple these nerves with heaps of life stress and you’ve got a rock-solid combination of a fragile mental state. What could possibly go wrong?

               On the Wednesday before the race, we were all hit with the news that a gigantic forest fire was threatening to smoke out Bend, and the forecasted AQI for Saturday was set to be in the triple digits. (Not ideal for eight-ish hours of heavy breathing.)  So just to add to the stress levels, we decided to postpone the decision on whether to even attend until Thursday night. To make a long story short, the weather gods smiled on us and the wind stayed steady out of the west, providing Bend with perfectly clear skies and no chance of permanent lung damage for racers. Although in hindsight… the sheer amount of dust I inhaled may have done similar damage…

               When Friday morning rolled around, Jeff and I hit the road early, hoping to make it to Oregon in time for a quick preride. I forgot how much quicker road trips go when there’s someone else to talk to, and it’s not only my own self-deprecating thoughts to keep me company. Before I knew it, we were pulling into Bend along with all the other decked out Sprinter vans. (We had a built-out Tacoma… when in Rome…) After packet pickup and meeting Jeff’s friend Phil it was out to the trailhead to spin out the legs and attempt to remember how riding on dust works. My friend Landon was playing the tour guide and decided that since we were riding the best of Bend tomorrow it’d be worth showing us the worst. We struggled down a trail of awkwardly angled sharp rocks, which I have no shame in saying that I walked most of the quarter mile trail… claiming ‘I didn’t want to risk a puncture,’ which was true enough.

Proving my privateer status

               That night I made clear my privateer status one more by setting up a single person tent adjacent to two decked out adventure vans. To make up for the inadequacy, I won the dinner game… which wasn’t hard I just used two colors of pasta, somehow vaulting me into the ‘dinner envy’ position. Since my alarm was set for an ungodly 4:00 am, it was bedtime before the sun, listening to the sound of my own heartbeat setting the tune of nervous excitement for the day to come

               Four am rolled around far too quickly, and after a rushed breakfast of cold rice, bananas, and coffee it was into the truck and down to the Safeway parking lot which would be out base camp for the day. In the pre-dawn light I barely found all my food, and during the inevitable rush to the start line I forgot only a few items… not necessary at all for a full day in the saddle. I rolled to the line without a tube, tire plugs, only one banana, and somehow had forgotten my gloves. (Later found sitting right on top of my bag… almost impossible to miss.)

               There was a feeling of collective nervousness palpable in the air around the hundreds of riders lined up in the Bend Athletic Club parking lot. Everyone was either fidgeting with something, awkwardly making small talk, or sitting in complete stillness, lost in their own private thoughts.  Being late (naturally), I began to work my way through the throng and attempt to get as far forward as possible. Even with the neutral rollout I didn’t want to be caught up too far back and burn a match to move forward. Making it to the third row with only a few seconds to spare, the gun went off and our mob of spandex and carbon began to apprehensively roll forward into the dawn.

               I made the call not to bring a vest, jacket, or even arm warmers for the rollout, as the temperature downtown was hovering around fifty degrees… very manageable. What I forgot to consider, however, was the fact that we were going to be on the road (i.e., moving fast) for the first 10 miles or so, and climbing a decent amount (i.e. going into the cold). So, within only 30 minutes of the start I couldn’t feel my fingers and shifting required a combined movement of my entire hand and forearm, not ideal but I somehow made it work. We jumped off the road onto some gravel doubletrack, and instantly the field began to spread. It was clear who the heavy hitters were in the group, and everyone who was anyone began to up the tempo. Kyle Trudeau and Landon Farnsworth were the two people I had in my sights for the day, both being experienced in this distance and incredibly strong riders to boot. Other among the field were Jason Rathe, Carter Hall, and other fast-looking riders that I’m sure would all be challengers to the podium.

               We raced along the doubletrack for a while before hitting the first quick descent… which proved to possibly be the most terrifying experience I’ve had in a long while. Imagine being cold, relatively not awake, moving at about twenty miles an hour, and being completely blind. And when I say completely blind, I mean unable to see anything. The dust was so thick from the riders in front that I could basically see my front wheel… and that was it. As rocks the size of my head whizzed past, I realized it was very possible to end my race before it had actually begun. With an uncharacteristic moment of sanity, I slowed and gave the riders in front a few second’s gap. Although I was able to see marginally better than before, having to give a little kick after every descent to catch the wheel of the three leaders. Slightly concerned about how high my heart rate was, I let it slide thinking the pace would eventually slow down.

Just doing everything I can to keep up

               It didn’t slow down.

               Well, I guess that’s not entirely true… the pace did slow a touch, but only when the track decided to pitch upwards, and the true climbing began. Climbing in Bend is different than anywhere else I’ve experienced, as it’s never too steep, but feels more like the erg mode on a trainer. There’s always some sort of resistance which unconsciously saps your energy, and only on the short little punches do you realize how tired you are. I once heard a term called ‘Creepy Fatigue’… and that about sums it up.

The course profile basically follows a lopsided “M” shape, with one major climb to begin, followed by a short descent, after which there is the main climb, and finally a ‘descent’ down to the finish. I was under the impression it’d be a relative cake walk from the highpoint back to town, and boy was I mistaken… more on that later.

Reaching the top of the first climb our group had begun to split up, with Kyle and Landon pushing out front, Jason and myself following a few minutes behind, and the rest of the group strung out in some fashion behind us. All I can say about that first descent is… holy shit was it fun. Another aside about the riding in Bend; it’s fast. Not fast in the same way here where there’s an exponential pucker factor when the speed ticks higher (especially on an xc bike), but faster in the sense that the track seems to flow better and there’s a sensation of being in the cliché ‘zone’. Winding in and out of forest cover we flew down to the first aid station, where we caught our first (and last) glimpse of the leader. Not stopping we plugged on ahead and started up the main obstacle of the day: the Mrazek trail buffered by some gravel road climbing to boot.

               Jason and I reached the base of the climb together, and we were together at the second aid station. I refilled my bottles, grabbed some bananas and a sandwich, and hit the road before Jason had finished swapping out gear. From that point on (mile 48) I was flying solo. I knew the climbs were my opportunity to pull back time, so after aid two I set the power at endurance+ pace and sat in for the long haul up Mrazek. Feeling strong throughout the entire ninety-minute climb, I was able to pull Landon into sight and move past into second place… which offered a huge adrenaline burst. Cresting the top it was some rolling terrain to aid three, where I stuffed my face again and refilled the bottles one last time. From this point on it was (almost) all downhill.

               Or so I thought. The first few miles were down a sandy access road where speeds exceeded thirty miles per hour; absolutely exhilarating to feel the miles tick away but slightly terrifying on tired legs. Pushing the pace I tried to maximize my time on the descent and pull back any possibly second I could. An hour later I reached the bottom of the road and ducked back into the singletrack… and immediately realized I was bonking. When the track turned back uphill, I downshifted and set the legs to go again, but that hollow feeling of glycogen depletion was all too evident. Immediately realized the mistake I had made on the previous climb, I downed come calories which staved off the inevitable for a few minutes. More rolling terrain offered some precious descents where I could recover enough to struggle to the top of the next hill; repeating the process over and over with slightly fewer matches to burn at each crest.

"How many calories can I possible consume right now?"

               Around mile ninety the wheels fell off; not literally, but figuratively. I’ve bonked hard, but this may have been bonking to a new level… there was a point where I truly didn’t think my legs would be able to keep spinning the pedals. About six feet away from having to lay down on the side of the trail there was a fortuitous descent, although having to focus on hitting doubles and executing proper cornering technique while completely cracked is easier said than done. Some I was able to survive the Tiddlywinks trail, even though I’m sure my method of riding a bike was not in exemplary form to say the least. Then we hit a trail called Catch and Release, which by all accounts would be fun… nice flowy corners and the ability to keep speed and fly through the open trees. But that’s expecting that I was able to corner correctly and keep any sort of speed. Therefore, I can confidently say that Catch and Release was absolute hell. The two-mile trail was lengthened to what seemed like ten. To make matters worse, at mile ninety-two a rider flew by me so fast that I initially thought it was a hallucination. (Later I learned he was a previous NUE champion who actually knew how to pace for a hundred-mile race… made me feel slightly better.) Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, as this sucker punch to the ego lit a sad, smoldering fire in my chest and gave just enough of a flame to get me to the final road section: a (mostly) downhill section. From this point on it was get into TT mode and force the screaming legs to push just a little further. Swerving precariously across the line I was handed a cold towel and Coke, which tasted better than anything I’ve experienced in a long time. Stumbling over to a chair I sat down and stared off into the distance feeling the sugar and caffeine move through my system and slowly bring me back to some sort of life.

Pretty sure I was almost unable to stand up at this point.

               Writing this a few days after getting home, I feel slightly more recovered, but there’s still some residual fatigue that shows up in the strangest of times. It’s a weird juxtaposition of peak fitness and absolute exhaustion: able to set KOMs on local trails while still deficient on overall calories. So, it’s been a few days of a mini-offseason and quite a bit of time spent in the ice bath, hammock, and dinner table.

               But as I’ve always said, endurance athletes have some of the worst memories… I’m already looking forward to the next marathon day on the bike.

A psychological breath of fresh air; a physical breath of dust

                It feels as though it has been ages since I’ve had the opportunity to line up and get between the tape, and in actuality it has. 525 days, in fact, since I toed the line at a race. One could say I’m frothing a bit to get back into it. So, the Echo Red to Red xc race this past weekend was quite the breath of mental fresh air; finally having the opportunity to ride bikes hard was incredibly refreshing… even if it was a complete (yet altogether expected) shock to the system.

               True to style, my preparation for the event was quite lackluster. Between long days at work, rushed bicycle maintenance, and spotty travel logistics, the overall stress level was relatively high coming into the weekend. With race day fast approaching, I was still putting pieces of the puzzle together: finding transportation (currently car-less), securing housing (or rather a camp spot), modifying a volatile work schedule, and remembering to stay hydrated. As Friday morning rolled around (race was Saturday) I still had no transportation, no definite place to camp, had to get projects done at work, and was most likely quite dehydrated from the copious amounts of coffee. So yeah, you could say planning was subpar. Eventually everything was put into motion and I somehow got my shit together enough to hit the road Friday afternoon in a tiny rental car, a decent day’s work under my belt, and a vague idea of where I’d be sleeping that night. (Magically, it turned out the only thing I had forgotten was a toothbrush; while unfortunate for my dental hygiene was a relatively minor error if I do say so myself.)  With a five-hour drive ahead it was time to plug in a podcast or three and turn the brain off a bit.

               Does anyone else have a very intrinsic fear of the dark? It’s not as though I’m frightened of anything in particular, but rather the feelings of doubt, questioning, and uncertainty that seem to always arise when the sun goes down. As it happens, I always seem to be driving through a new place with an unfamiliar race ahead of me when darkness begins to creep over the landscape, so maybe these are just my own emotions coming to the forefront… who knows… In any case, the feelings of “what-the-absolute-hell-am-I-doing?” started to arise somewhere right after Yakima, with another 90 minutes or so left in the drive. By now the sun had dropped well below the horizon, and the last comforting rays of light had disappeared into the darkness of the unknown. It was far too late to turn back now; I was committed, but second-guessing myself at every turn. Doubts ranged from both ends of the practicality spectrum: Was it really worth it coming this far? Should I be saving the expenses for a bigger event, or one closer to home? Am I actually going to have a place to set up a tent tonight, or will I be figuring out how to sleep in a Nissan Versa? What if I flat? Are there bears out here, and if so… how sealed is my cooler?

               That all changed when I pulled into the sleepy town of Echo, Oregon. It was clear from the number of sprinter vans, pop-up campers, tents, and bike stands that something out of the ordinary was going on in the town of 500 people. Driving around I began to get the familiar feeling of nervous excitement that accompanies race weekends. Eventually I found my friend Landon’s Tacoma and team tent tucked away next to a small park, the perfect setting for some impromptu urban camping. Landon and Shane were both still up, and happy to shoot the shit while I prepared a gourmet meal of mismatched pasta from my pantry, slightly cooked broccoli, and some sad-looking kale leaves I scrounged from some corner of the fridge. After getting our fill of catching up and pre-bike race geek talking, it was off to bed in my one-person tent and continuously deflating sleeping pad. At least the streetlamps were off…

True to form, I was up before the sunrise with seemingly no intention of going back to sleep. It was an initial surprise to open up the tent flap and see buildings, but then I remembered I was camping in a downtown park. Obviously my thoughts immediately shifted away from the unorthodox tent location and to coffee. After a quick rummage through the food bag, a rushed stove set up, and a quick coffee grind (thanks Javapresse for letting me be a coffee snob wherever and whenever), there was a resulting americano and a much happier Payson. Just as there’s something about the night before a race, there’s something unique about the morning of race day; a palpable sense of excited tension in the air. Additionally, racers who traveled to Echo all seemed to realize how special that race morning vibe was. Smiles (some hidden under masks) abounded, and an overall feeling of elation spread throughout the small town.

Eventually we did remember our reason for being there, though. The elite wave was first to go off, and it was full of big hitters. It seemed as though everyone within a six-hour radius lined up, and it soon became clear this wouldn’t be any walk in the park. As the race announcer gave out callups, I could already feel my heart rate begin to rise. After a few final descriptions of the course, the gun went off, our neutral rollout began, masks came off, and the race was on. Spinning out of town, the mood was lighthearted as the pace stayed low. Although as soon as we turned onto the first gravel road and the starting line became closer, the pace lifted and people started jockeying for position near the front of the group. Once across the line, it was full gas. With the help of an initial tailwind the group speed skyrocketed. Small rocks were flying in every direction and a few water bottles ejected themselves as we raced mach ten down a loose gravel road, eventually ducking into some of the dustiest singletrack I’ve experienced. So dusty, in fact, that it was difficult to see the trail in front of your wheel, and riding by braille soon became necessary. Quickly a lead group of six formed, and Evan Plews moved to the front to set a solid pace. For the next 90 minutes or so it stayed pretty much status quo: Evan plugging away in front with five of us in tow. I stayed behind the wheel of my friend Landon Farnsworth, as I knew his handling skills were on point and I could trust his line down the often rock-strewn descents. Most of race involved a steady power output, with a few surges on the climbs. These spread the group out on occasion, but only by a bike length or two, and within a minute we were all packed together once again.

Internally, I was feeling good. The pace was well within my limit, and while the punchy climbs were difficult, they were nothing to be concerned with. I could tell my high-intensity legs weren’t along for the ride, but that was a problem for future Payson. And yes, it did eventually become a problem. Once we jumped off the singletrack and onto a dirt road there was a short and steep hill, and I made the unfortunate mistake to choose that exact moment to reach for my bottle. Unfortunate because this was the exact moment Ian Brown and Carson Hampton decided to blow the group to smithereens and keep 600 watts or so up the hill. I was caught completely off guard and got distanced from the back of the group… which is just another way of saying I definitely did not have the legs to stay in touch with the now-leaders. After the surge, the group shattered, with Carson out front, Ian chasing solo, a group of three, then myself about 20 seconds behind. Knowing there was only about 5 minutes left in the race, it was time to dig deep and pull every last bit of energy from the reservoir for a last-ditch effort to latch back onto the group in front. This was made all the more difficult by the sharp headwind, which seemed determined to keep my just out of reach from the group in front. Eventually it was clear I’d be coming in solo “last of the front” and it was now time to simply keep up the pace until the line.

Back in town after the event, the usual chit-chatting began with everyone recalling the past few hours; talking about how good it was to be back between the tape and congratulating each other for a job well done. After the good-natured complaining about how hard it was and conversations about future events, it was time to pack up and hit the road for home. The long drive home offered an opportunity to critically analyze my own race effort as well as listen to the entire discography of A Tribe Called Quest.

Overall I was happy with my performance. Yes, it would’ve been nice to stay with the leaders and have a go at the podium, but at this time in the season and on a course that historically has not favored my riding style, I was content with how I had fared. Training up to this point has largely consisted of base miles at endurance pace with a few tempo blocks thrown in for good measure, so having a high-intensity race effort was definitely foreign to my legs. Additionally, the fact that I was able to stay with the lead group without any real difficulty throughout all the singletrack surges was a good sign. The next few training blocks would be dedicated towards working on the high-intensity legs and sharpening up the subLT skills (i.e. going hard for longer periods of time), which theoretically will build on top of the current endurance abilities and put me closer to the sharp end of the stick. Another reason I was satisfied with my semi-lackluster performance was due to my pre-race routine and preparation. Spending the day before an event on my feet, at work, slightly stressed out, and likely not hydrating enough was undoubtedly not the most ideal situation… think about what could be possible when I actually take care of myself? In any case, the result in front of my name wasn’t exactly what I would necessarily like to see at the end of the day, but given the circumstances it was something to be relatively proud of. If anything, my performance was a clear indication that training had been working, and what needed to be worked on. Well, the first race of the post-covid era (ish) was under my belt… I survived, thrived a little, suffered a lot, learned heaps, ended the day with a smile on my face, and got to drive home listening to Q-Tip and Phife dog’s lyrics flow from the tinny speakers in my tiny rental car. Things are looking up from here!

Looking back at a Season for the Record Books

                Call it what you will, 2020 was one hell of a year. From the global pandemic forcing us to reevaluate our lives, widespread social reforms ushering in a new era of inclusivity, and a polarizing election which shook the very foundation of democracy… there have been huge transformations throughout this year. Fall brings about the time to focus specifically on how I have changed throughout the past months, both through athletic training, racing (or the lack there of), and life in general. It’s hard… no, impossible really, to separate the effects of the global conditions from happenings in one’s personal life. Everything is holistically connected, whether physically or psychologically, and necessary to take a broad look into how 2020 has changed me.

               What a season it has been though: zero real races, more physical and mental strain than I’ve ever endured, and countless lessons learned-about myself and the world at large. So where to begin? Well, maybe the most logical place to start would be the beginning.

 

Disappointment and Shifting Expectations

               It’s no secret that 2020 was a disappointing year. Yes there’ll be positives and life lessons to be learned in the future, but at the moment things kind of suck. There is no use denying the fact that I’ve been disappointed about many things throughout the year, between cancelled races, hiccups in the schedule, injuries, and excess mental stress there have been challenges throughout the journey. But one lesson learned throughout the 2020 experience is that this is a random world; things can (and will) change at a moment’s notice, and there is nothing you can do about it. So, the only path forward to keep ourselves from going crazy is to learn how to evolve and adapt to changing circumstances. It’s a perfect opportunity to ‘be like water’ and succeed with whatever scenario the world decides to throw your way.

               If there’s a cancelled race à use the gained fitness for a challenge. Test yourself. Push your limits and discover that you’re more capable than you think. If there’s an alteration in the schedule à find a way to make do with what you have. Make the best of whatever situation you find yourself in. If you get injured à focus completely on recovery, or figure out what you can do and continue to improve yourself. There can always a possibility to become better; always a possibility to have a positive impact on training, racing, and life in general.

 

Be happy with what you CAN do

               There has undeniably been a lot of things taken away this year, no arguing that fact. Yet, so much still can be done, as well as opportunities which may not have existed in past years. Focus on the positives and what’s currently achievable rather than wallow in what has been lost and what isn’t currently feasible. Throughout 2020, I have been lucky enough to focus 110% on structured training, and not have the extra stressors involved with racing and traveling. While my coach and I did attempt to have certain ‘peaks’ in fitness throughout the season, these were specifically chosen dates which perfectly lined up with training blocks, work schedules, and weather windows. In a normal year, races happen on set dates, and while it’s is obviously possible to schedule a training season around these dates… it can be a bit of a hassle to make things line up perfectly. Furthermore, I was able to sleep in my own bed and establish a routine based around proper recovery after (almost) each training session and especially after mock race efforts. Finally, the added stresses (mentally, physically, and financially) of traveling to races were absent from the 2020 season. Worries about flight timing and whether or not the bike would make it to the destination in one piece were replaced with making it to work on time and if there would be time for an extra cup of coffee… in my opinion both drastically less-taxing scenarios. 2020 has been a year of “count your blessings among the shit.”

 

Improve. Improve. Improve.

               Never stop getting better, EVER. There is always something to work on and improve. What are you good at? Take advantage and hone these skills further. What are you less good at? Don’t shy away from them and simply rely on strengths to make up the deficit. We’re only as strong as our weakest link, and the true champions are well-rounded and able to take whatever is thrown at them. Actively run towards hardships and what sends a chill down your spine. Being uncomfortable and learning to control your emotions throughout this discomfort improves overall capability.

               Personally, here are the specific things I need to improve for 2021 (along with a plethora of other stuff… these just make it to the top of the list.)

-        Recovery. Giving myself the time and periods of inactivity to allow for full and proper recovery.

-        Putting up with shit conditions. Sometimes race day sucks. Deal with it.

-        Sprinting and sheer power.

-        Confidence. Half the battle is in your mind.

 

Trust the Process and Play the Long Game

               Nothing happens overnight, rather it’s the day in, day out grind which truly shows progress. On that note à every minute counts! Whether its specific interval training, base miles, or a casual ride with friends, learn lessons from each session on the bike, as well as throughout daily life. Every hour of every day can count for or against you in the long run. Stress is stress, recovery is critical, calories are necessary, and happiness is everything. Be sure to make the most out of every single day.

What you do right now, tomorrow, and the day after that all impact the future. Every action has a reaction and corresponding result down the line. Today impacts tomorrow, and this accumulation changes your life years down the road. Plan for today and look ahead to the future.

How Not to Prepare for a Stage Race

How not to prepare for a stage race

               Step one, become a sponsored professional athlete and have all your needs and worries taken care of. Since this isn’t the most easily attainable goal for most of us, here’s one privateer’s take on some pre-race preparations… specifically the preparations NOT to do.

               As everyone know, the key to a quality performance is preparation. Preparations through course-specific training, adequate rest, having the bike dialed, and race logistics all thought out. For this year’s Missoula ProXCT I had… well I had none of those boxes checked. Actually I was probably on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I had just come from New Zealand (basically sea level), was sleeping an average of 4-5 hours a night, completely changes my entire bike setup the morning before stage one, and essentially only had a one-way plane ticket. Race prep can be summed up in one word: dialed.

               Let’s back up a bit. Missoula has always been one of my favorite cities, and the ProXCT that takes place there every year is an event I always try and make it to. It combines everything I love about this sport: good friends, beautiful tracks, heaps of elevation gain with grin-inducing descents, and highly unstable weather. Best of all the post-race celebrations always include ice cream or beer… or both. As an added cherry on top this year the event had become a four-day stage race, consisting of a marathon event, individual mtb time trial, xco event, and short track. So, with my being back in the US this past June, it was a necessity to get to this one.

               By the time race week rolled around I had a few Midwestern WORS races under my belt, so the second part of my 2019 season was at a good time for a good size training block. As the general fitness was still recovering from the post-NZ break, I wasn’t expecting any spectacular results, but four solid days of racing in the Montana Rockies was just what the doctor ordered. With that mindset I jumped online and found the cheapest ticket to Missoula… arriving midnight the morning of stage one. Here’s a quick rundown of what my travel day schedule consisted of:

·        Wake up at 4:30

·        Put a brand new groupset on my bike

·        Put my bike in a box (big shoutout to Orucase on this one… best bike bag in the world)

·        Go to work at 5:30

·        Caffeinate my way through work

·        Drive straight from work to the airport

·        Get on a plane to Denver

·        Get on a plane to Missoula

·        Arrive in Missoula around midnight

·        Go to the Westenfelder’s house (you guys are absolutely incredible)

·        Build my bike

·        Set alarm for 5 am

·        Go to bed

Ideal, right? Long story short, when that five am alarm sounded I was far from fresh, and after guzzling a few cups of coffee, forcing down some oatmeal and eggs, and blinking the sleep from my eyes really nothing changed. Luckily I have the best friends in the world, and was able to use Karl’s spare car to meander to the start line that morning. Waiting for me that day was forty miles and ten thousand feet of climbing. Exactly what you want on no sleep, travel-fatigued legs, and basically a brand new bike. Putting the task ahead out of my mind I started warming up. With ten minutes to race start I had one more sprint interval; I got out of the saddle, jumped on the pedals, and SNAP! Here’s another pro tip: one way to get your heartrate up right before a race is to break your chain with less-than-optimal-time to replace it. Lady luck decided to be a bit nicer to me for once, and someone next to me happened to have a spare masterlink in their toolbox. Promising a beer on me I hopped on and lined up. This race was never destined to result in much of anything, but man did the legs not want to show up. At least the whole Missoula cycling scene showed up to cheer, and somehow I still counted as the “local guy.” Even though I was nowhere near the sharp end of the race, every time through the start/finish I got a huge cheer and personal callout from Shaun, the race announcer. This was just enough to help fuel me through the inevitable bonk and resulting explosion. By the time I crossed the finish line there was absolutely nothing left in the tank. But… I was getting exactly what I asked for: a nice hard training block. Just wish the block wasn’t made of lead… and hit me in the face, repeatedly.

        Thankfully the rest of the week was relatively uneventful in the way of mishaps. The time trial was essentially a twentyish minute climb up the dreaded Marshall Mountain ski hill, where after actually sleeping a respectable amount I was able to put down a decent time, landing me closer to the top of the overall. The next day brought about the regular XCO event; a classic mountain bike course which goes straight up, then straight down. Six laps of this was enough to bring even the most masochistic climber to tears. In classic Montana fashion, the skies decided to open up and someone turned the thermostat way down. Freezing on the start line was quickly replaced by sweating up the climb, then proceeding to re-freeze on the way down. Even with the adverse weather conditions, the local Missoula crew all showed up and yet again provided this “local” with heaps of much welcome support. Finding a second wind with two laps to go I was able to pull back a couple places, and came across the finish line somewhere in the top half. Feeling like an exhausted icicle I sat in front of the heater eating another bowl of pesto pasta at eleven at night, attempting to force all the caffeine out of my system.

        One more race, my personal nemesis… the short track. Thirty minutes of vomit-inducing effort doing everything I can to hold whatever wheel happens to be in front of me. Well I wasn’t pulled, and that was basically the main goal regarding the caliber of racers. ‘Holding off’ the fastest in the country was my own personal victory; by holding off I mean somehow struggling to finish each two-minute lap within 80% of the leader’s time. Crossing the line completely and utterly spent it was straight to Sweet Peaks ice cream, where the success of non-disaster was celebrated wholeheartedly.

        Now it was time for a twenty-hour car ride back to Wisconsin and work the next morning. Yeah… poor planning from beginning to end. Just my style.

Catch-Up Time

               Ok, so where’d we leave off? Right; little island in the middle of the lower Pacific Ocean, riding bikes and loving life in Aotearoa. Last race I had up here was the skinny-tire event up in Clevedon, pretending I knew what I was doing… which I most decidedly did not. Well after that event, things continued as normal; work, train, enjoy small-town Ohakune. We’ll keep the bullet point thing going with a recap and catch-up-to-speed.

·        Did more race things in NZ.

·        Won a few

·        Came second in a few

·        Lost a few

·        Completely blew up in a few

·        Trained a lot

·        Ate a lot of food

·        Ate a lot of ice cream

·        It started to get cold…

·        Visa ran out, went back to Wisconsin

·        Til next time NZ. I’ll be back

Alright, so now we reach my time back in the good ol’ US of A, the home of Costco, and where the average population doesn’t know where New Zealand is. Semi-broke and without much more than the contents of a backpack to my name, it was back to living with grandparents again. Lazy days at the lake were soon cut short by the inevitability of getting back to work. Hurrah for six a.m. starts and a general feeling of exhaustion everyday.

I’m sure the whole lack of sleep thing wasn’t doing wonders for training, but nonetheless it was right back to summer, and racing in 100% humidity was in full swing. When living in Wisconsin, attending a few WORS events is mandatory, and it was real good to get back to the series which got me into this sport. Mixed results ensued, with me dancing around the podium steps and feeling the steady progression of 2019 season-part two. Somewhere around the middle of June I made the annual trek out to Montana, but this time it wasn’t to go back to university (phew), but for the four-day Missoula XC stage race.  (Full report on the stories from this trip to come… there are some gems which came out of this one. Stay tuned.)

 Don’t get me wrong… I absolutely love my grandparents as well as time at the lakehouse, but being twenty-three years old in a town where the majority of the population has their AARP card… well needless to say I was going a bit crazy within a few weeks. Feeling antsy and ready for a change of scenery, I restarted the US job hunt, scouring Indeed and LinkedIn for anything where my obscure major may be an advantage. After yet another bout of un-answered applications it was back to putting off real life for a bit. Got a job offer wrenching for a bike shop in Bellingham, and following a quick Google search of the world-class trails, beautiful scenery, and easy-access to the ocean it was an easy choice. Finishing out my time in the Midwest with a great visit, and one final WORS race weekend, it was time to pack everything up in the back of the VW Golf and head west. You know you’re doing something right when almost everything you own (including two bicycles, a longboard, and more peanut butter than one should rightfully have) can fit snugly into the back of a two-door hatchback.

Following a characteristically hectic departure, it was off to the open road. The plan was to take four days to make it to Bellingham, staying with friends along the way and eventually meeting my mom in Seattle for the final leg. The next part is pretty boring, filled with lots of podcasts, many albums, one runaway skid plate, countless snacks, and two lost water bottles. After thirty-ish hours of driving and two-thousand miles we pulled into Bellingham, a university-town with a northwest hippy vibe and a large population of flannel shirts. Well, this was home… even if I had nowhere to live, knew absolutely no one, and was still recovering from time-zone shock. I had a couple bikes, a whole new world to explore, and even some peanut butter left.

…To be continued…

Curvy Bars, Skinny Tires, and the Departure of Lady Luck

               There’s a fine line between personal growth and sheer stupidity. Nowhere is this more apparent than in athletics. For example, I’m writing this the night before the SRAM Tour de Ranges road race which I’m entered to compete in… and naturally I’ve chosen to start in the fastest wave. Let’s stress two words in particular from that last sentence: road race. True I spend quite a large amount of my training time on the road, but that doesn’t mean I have any knowledge pertaining to road race tactics, race style, or really even how to draft properly. No worries, I’ll definitely be fine in a 110-kilometer race with about 400 other people, right? 

               Training leading up to the event has gone well. My coach Matthew Parks and I worked on a block-style plan which focused on one particular metric at a time, while always keeping up on the necessary skills. The general idea is to form a kind of pyramid with efforts, starting with the infamous base miles and elevation gain. Slowly building time in the saddle and meters climbed, the weeks passed with some encouraging results. My times up the local climbs began to decrease, I could go harder for longer, and the hard things began to feel much more doable. Between riding, gym time, a bit of running, quite a lot of stretching, and focused recovery time both the body and mind began to show signs of progress. A priority this year is to concentrate on the balance between going hard and going easy: the hard efforts should be really hard, and the recovery should be absolute recovery. Sure, there’d be heaps of time spent in zone two, but in the past I’ve let the training get the better of me, and fallen quite deep into overtraining syndrome, which in turn had extensive negative effects on performance, health, and life in general. But… what’s life without some mistakes to learn from? This year, it’s all about the recovery. So bring on the nerdy HRV sleep devices, compression recovery tights, meditation, and forced couch time. 

               In any case, the training was working. Stress and recovery were well matched, and coming into the new year I was feeling great with the next goal looming on the horizon: the SRAM Tour de Ranges. As mentioned before, my road experience was extremely limited (read, none whatsoever), and the prospect of anyone deciding to ride a road bike here is completely out of the question, so any attempt to learn the finer points of drafting or group riding would involve chasing cars… people tend to get upset when you do that. Therefore, I was going into this event twice as blind as normal; not only would I be riding the course for the first time, my technical ability and general understanding of tactics were quite sub-par. Guess it was time to rely on skills gained from excessive hours on the road bike and the watts stored up in my legs. 

               After loading up the car with the skinny-tire bike, a four-hour drive up to Clevedon awaited me. This time I’d learned one lesson and wouldn’t be sleeping in the back of a car and huddling over a camping stove, but rather sleeping on a floor mattress and staring into a microwave… progress. My little Airbnb place was little more than a spare room set up for people traveling through on a budget, but what it lacked in amenities it made up for with scenery. Set on top of a hill (foreshadowing) overlooking the Hunua National Park, the view took my breath away multiple times. The ocean peeked out in the background, and clouds danced in patters of all sorts across the sky, highlighting the red-orange rays of the setting sun. Well, if things went to shit during the race at least I’d have one hell of a new phone background. 

               During packet pickup, the usual nagging thoughts of I’m not good enough and seriously Payson… what are you doing here began to creep in. Pushing all negative thoughts out of my head I did my best to focus on the happy clouds floating lazily across the sky. Paired with a bit of meditation before bed and dinner overlooking the ocean, the negative thoughts slowly began to disperse. Disperse, but not leave for good. Although I’m not sure going into an event without any fear is healthy either, confidence is key but overconfidence has its own fair share of negative effects as well. Or maybe that’s just what I tell myself to pretend everything’s ok, and everybody stares at the ceiling bombarded with negative thoughts the night before a big event. Well, nothing to do at this point but roll over and attempt to force my body to sleep at 8:30 in broad daylight. 

               Race day morning brought the usual combination of nerves and excitement. After an early morning breakfast it was time to get kitted up. I lathered sunscreen on my arms, legs, and neck and stuffed my pockets with more bananas than one rightfully should. From my accommodation it was all downhill to the event startline (more foreshadowing) and I reached the expo area far earlier than I had planned. Now I had 40 minutes to kill after getting adequately warmed up, so naturally I spun up and down the same road again and again, slowly joined by progressively more riders, all of which whom were much better judges of time than I. Guess I’d rather be early than late…

               Here’s a striking difference between cross-country and road racing: the starts. In every mountain bike race the start gun sets off absolute madness filled with pounding hearts, sprinting legs, and rubbing elbows. Sheer lunacy. In contrast, when the gun goes off to start a road race, people slowly clip in and begin rolling out at a normal pace behind the lead car. Sure, there’s a little bit of urgency present for people to get near (ish) to the front but everyone’s heart rate is far below threshold. Incredibly thankful for the ‘relaxed’ start I slotted into the peloton and began the charade of pretending to know how to draft. Just stay a few centimeters behind the wheel in front of you… couldn’t be easier, right? 

               Somehow my patchwork drafting skills helped me to stay with what quickly became the lead group. A slightly sketchy gravel descent found a large number of roadies grabbing at their brakes and creating a large split in the main group. Luckily my flat-bar skills came in handy and I was able to stay with the leaders. As our group of about 100 flew through the beautiful New Zealand day a few of the strategists began launching attacks in the attempt to break the elastic and create a gap. Everyone who tried to go off the front, however, was quickly caught. 30 kilometers in seemed far too early for a solo break to stay alive for the full 110. Status quo remained with a decently large lead group leading the way.

               About 60 kilometers into the course there were three sections of road construction due to crazy weather throughout the area around Christmas time. The sections were mundane, and simply just added a few bumps and potholes to avoid. My luck, however, saw me go straight into one of the potholes and come out the other side with a rear tire making the dreaded hissing sound. Moving to the side of the road I went into full panic mode and started the practiced dance of fixing a flat: bike upside down, wheel out, tire off, used tube frantically tossed aside, new tube put in (no time to line up valve stem and words), tire back on, CO2 on valve, engage CO2 canister, watch tire inflate. Apart from the panicked circumstances, I was quite proud of how quickly I got rolling again… wasn’t exactly timing it but it’s probably a record. After a cross-style mount I was back to pedaling, and pedaling hard. Knowing the stragglers of the lead group weren’t too far ahead I threw caution to the wind and buried myself to catch up. (Geek side-note: I don’t have a power meter on my bike but the Strava estimated power put me at 450 average for this effort.) Luckily, I had a bit of a tailwind and the road began to pitch upwards, giving me all the best conditions for catching back up to the group.

               Around a sweeping bend I finally saw what I’d been looking for: the tail end of the lead group. Granted these were the people getting dropped off the back, but nonetheless I was over the moon to have a bit of a draft and basically a springboard up to the rest of the pack. Moving through the ranks I did my best to recover from the chase while still gaining on where I really wanted to be; and against all odds it was somehow working. Whether it was just an on day for me or there were some hidden watts in my legs I was moving quickly from rider to rider, feeling strong and once again well in control of my effort level. All that was left was a final uphill effort between a bit of a gap to the lead group. Putting my head down I dug a little deeper and lit another match, sprinting out of the saddle towards the welcome draft of the wheel 20 meters in front of me. Pushing hard I gained meter after meter, but we were getting awfully close to the top of the hill and I knew for a fact there’d be no way I could keep the pace of a large group on my own on a downhill. Finding another gear I got back out of the saddle and lit another few matches. But it worked. Ever so slowly I reached the furthest back rider and thankfully jumped straight onto his back wheel, feeling the welcome pull of the riders in front. I was ecstatic that I had made it work, made it back to the lead group in a relatively short time, and did so under relatively my own power. The mental game was strong at that point, and we were fast approaching the KOM climb where I intended to make my move and hopefully form a bit of a break from the main group, ideally taking a few strong riders with me all the way to the finish. 

               But lady luck was not on my side this day. Throughout the whole chase effort I had been so focused on catching the riders in front of me I hadn’t noticed my rear tire slowly becoming more and more squishy. So on the final gravel section I felt a bump straight onto my rim and heard yet again the sickening sound of air rushing from the tire. With language enough to make a sailor blush I meandered back to the side of the road once again… only this time I didn’t have another tube. Even though lady luck decided to ruin my chances at a decent placement, she did allow me to finish the event. Because of the spur-of-the-moment gravel patches, race organizers had set up a flat station to help out the unfortunate riders to fall victim to the potholes. Where I flatted the second time was only about 2 kilometers short of the station, so it was just a bit of sketchy rim-riding and even some running (yep, I pulled a Chris Froome… and I like to believe I was just a little faster) to get to the oasis of new rubber. Once there, the volunteers played team mechanic, and swiftly changed out my lifeless tube for a new one while I smashed my last banana and gel: it was going to be a hard chase back. 

               Sometimes people say hardships are blessings in disguise. First of all, screw you guys. Second, there might be a shred of truth to that statement. See there were about 40 kilometers left in the course, and I was all on my lonesome, so that can only mean one thing: time for the hour of power. It was time to turn a once-race event to a VERY hard training day. I figured what better way to train for an extremely hard sustained effort at the end of an event than the actual thing? So, I put my head down and set the effort level right around all-out to see how far the legs would carry me. To make a long, pain filled hour go by quicker, the endgame was I held a power well above my FTP all the way to the finish line; where I then proceeded to lie on my back helplessly staring at the sky, trying to get some semblance of feeling in my aching legs.

At the end of the day I crossed the line in 70^th place out of about 500 riders. The more interesting thing to note is in the intermediate time splits. A closer look shows I was sitting in 7^th at the 30k check, 368^th at the 70k check, and 70^th at the finish at 110k. So, even though the final result isn’t really what I was after in the slightest, I am quite proud of the effort put in and the solid proof of what the legs are actually capable of.

Remember the whole foreshadowing of mentioning that my accommodation was situated at the top of a big hill? Well as I struggled up the hill at a snail’s pace with every muscle in my legs screaming, I truly hated past Payson for his prior decision. If you’d like a comparison, when we went up the hill during the event our average speed was 16 kph, but when I did it afterwards, I struggled to keep the pace of 6. The only plus side of the extended suffering: that was definitely worth adding another ice cream stop during the ride home.

A Long Ride in the Rain and Forgotten Socks

               I wouldn’t have changed a thing, but the Taupo Cycling Challenge was definitely a rude awakening out of the semi-offseason for this year. With 80-kilometer and approximately 2000 meters of elevation gain the race was nothing to scoff at. Looking back now, it was probably beneficial that I came in with absolutely no expectations, slightly undertrained, and possibly a touch overconfident in my own abilities. “Sure man, you’ve ridden this distance before… you’ve definitely got it in the legs again.” Note: the only times I’ve raced this distance at a competitive pace were the two Epic Rides events months earlier. Apparently I had forgotten how deep I buried myself for those and how completely exhausted I was afterwards. Memory was never a real forte of mine… undoubtedly beneficial in a sport such as xc mountain bike racing. Anyways, I was committed the minute the thought of competing entered my head. Had I skipped the event the regret would’ve definitely burned a hole for months. The whole mindset of ‘start saying yes’ may prove to bring about some type two fun. (Or with any luck… some of the mythical type two point five fun.)

               Race day rolled around after a restful night’s sleep crammed into the back of a car with a beg-hogging bike. A slight drizzle surrounded Great Lake Taupo, and the ominous pre-dawn clouds boded more rain to come. The entire town was filled to the brim with cyclists there for the event, each with their own level of accommodation: some rented flats, others had motorhomes and popups, a decent amount camped, and a few were lucky enough to stay with friends and family. Not exactly sure how many were to be found that morning bundled in down jackets, sitting cross-legged in the back of a car, while eating cookstove-heated oatmeal, hardboiled eggs, and instant coffee… but I’d expect I was one of a select few. In any case, I’m sure I was a sight to see, and hopefully the spectacle which was my morning routine brought at least a few people a smile. 

               Another skill of mine which could use quite a bit of fine-tuning is my packing ability, specifically not forgetting things which are relatively necessary. As I was pulling out the articles of clothing to be worn throughout the day, it soon became horrifyingly clear that I had forgotten socks. Shit. Not only would this prove to be four very uncomfortable hours, but the defined sock-tan line I’d acquired throughout this past year was going to be blatantly obvious to every person there. Mind racing, every possible solution I could think of flashed through my mind, most of which were quite stupid upon second consideration. Finally I decided to try my luck downtown and hope some shop would be open at 5:30 in the morning. Tossing my credit card in a back pocket alongside a few gels, I awkwardly made my way to the expo center in downtown Taupo, all the while feeling very self-conscious about my obvious lack of socks. Scanning storefronts for any movement I finally found what I was looking for: a half-asleep employee leaning against the door, obviously thinking they’d rather be in bed at the moment. Dashing into the store I quickly found the socks, and happily bought the only color in stock—bright blue. Now if anyone’s seen what my normal kit looks like… well blue doesn’t fit AT ALL, but now I couldn’t care less. With much happier feet and a lighter conscious I rolled towards the start line, with the majority of my allotted warm-up time spent sock hunting.

               I was set to be in the second wave, a full minute behind everyone up front. So from the gun it would be a game of catch-up, and I’d have to burn a few matches to catch up with the leaders… given I could catch them at all. I rechecked my supplies for the umpteenth time to make sure everything was in place: tube and CO₂ strapped to the seatpost, bananas in the left pocket, gels in the right, and spare bottle in the middle. My pedal was tilted at the correct angle for a swift start and shoes were tightened evenly. There was a light mist in the morning air and the dark grey sky threatened more rain to come, promising my bright blue socks would soon be a dull brown, along with the rest of my kit and any exposed skin. A final swig of water as the start clock dropped below a minute to go.

               The announcer sent of the first wave and they blasted across the dew-soaked field and onto the course. With a heart rate well into the triple digits I stood motionless, primed for action. “Anytime within the next thirty seconds…. fifteen… ten……. GO!!”  We were off. Even though this was set to be a four-plus hour race it seemed people were still willing to burn a few matches right away at the beginning. Understanding it would undoubtedly be an advantage to get into the singletrack ahead of the majority of riders, I kicked my effort up a notch and took back some positions and placed myself near the front of the wave.

               Now comes the time where the majority of people reading this begin to zone out, so I’m going back to the whole bullet-point-list thing to explain the next four hours… rather than imagining peoples’ eyes slowly glaze over and switch to some other, much more important activity.

·        My short XC racing mindset kicked in and I burned a few matches to catch the wave in front.

·        Caught the group in front, looked at my computer and realized we were only 20 kilometers in.

·        Had a mini panic attack that I’d bonk.

·        Dialed back the effort and conserved energy.

·        Raced smart… primarily by sitting on the chase groups’ wheel and trying to keep my heart rate low.

·        Did my best to enjoy the incredible trails we were riding.

·        Began to understand why pre-riding a track is VITAL.

·        Decided to throw smart racing out the window and attack the group I was in.

·        Broke away from the group around the 30 km mark.

·        Rode alone (in the rain) for about 90 minutes.

·        Caught one of the riders who also broke from the group.

·        Was glad to have a riding partner for the moment (thanks for the conversation + laughs Sean)

·        Broke away from Sean in an effort to catch the leader.

·        Caught the leader.

·        Felt the inevitable bonk coming on (we’re around kilometer 70 of 80 now)

·        Watched in despair as the leader started to ride me off his wheel.

·        Watched my heart rate drop significantly.

·        Ate the remainder of my food in a last-ditch effort to not tip over from exhaustion.

·        Forced my screaming legs towards the finish line downtown.

·        Drank the last of my water.

·        Suffered up the last hill (not without a few mumbled swear words)

·        Limped to the finish line, still in second place by the way.

·        Got passed by a 13-year-old girl on the finishing straight.

o   Not joking on this one; she flew past me before I had a chance to react… not as if I could’ve.

·        Crossed the line caked in mud, completely spent, and thoroughly happy.

·        Fell off my bike and laid in the grass for far too long.

So, what did I learn from this flash trip? Well for starters, make sure you’re prepared for an event by thoroughly pre-riding the track, setting up proper housing arrangements, being confident in athletic abilities, and remembering socks. But on the other hand sometimes it’s good to throw caution to the wind and say ‘screw it.’ I came into this event having no expectations, no prior knowledge, and honestly was flying by the seat of my pants at times (actually most of the time). And while coming so close to first then watching it slip away stings a little, a second place finish in an extremely challenging event is something I can be proud of. This then brings up the question of what if… what if my preparation had been better? What if I had put a little more effort into planning and making sure everything was perfect? Maybe then could I have had the legs or knowledge to cross the line first, or would something have not gone to plan and caused everything to come off the rails? Guess we’ll never know, but it’s something to think about for next time. But next time is a long way off and right now it’s back to the half-offseason thing I was originally in… basically still training but with WAY more ice cream. 

Footnote: no pictures because my phone died as I was sleeping in the car, and I'm not about to pay $20 for a digital download... if you're really keen on seeing me crossing the finish line drenched, completely shattered, and in the wrong color socks; the pictures exist somewhere on the interwebs. Good hunting! In the meantime, here's a shot haphazardly taken out the car window on my drive home.